27 Days +Ve
We're now week 8 (of our 40ww).
One week to go before our next scan.
I continue to hope that everything will go well, that it won’t all be taken away. I'm still too scared to be happy. How sad.
For Mr. S – seeing was believing. He saw a little creature with a big beating heart so now tells me I have nothing to worry about.
‘You’re not still worried are you?’
‘Yes, but I’m trying not to, I know that if this is meant to be it will be.’
‘But, you must be worried less than before?’
‘Yeah I guess so’.
No I’m not, I'm just as worried as before, but the day after our scan Mr. S had to go to America, so these conversations are happening on the phone. He hasn’t gone for business, but family reasons, a close relative was seriously ill and has since passed away. He got there in time to say goodbye and will stay a few days after the funeral.
I certainly felt the pressure for the scan to be good!
The doc said it would be okay for me to travel, but recommended support hose, drinking lots of water, and being one of those annoying people that roam around and around the plane (to prevent blood clots!)
I decided that I didn’t want to put anymore pressure on myself, so stayed home.
I don’t mind, with the house empty, I don’t have to keep pretending I’m not worrying about anything ...
I would appear to be someone that experiences only mild ‘p’ symptoms, I’m extremely tired and hate how often I have to go to the loo, but have not had my head down the toilet bowl. I seem to experience nausea only when I smell something really strong or I’m hungry. My symptoms also come and go, so because that’s happened from the beginning, it’s not freaking me out the way it used to. It doesn’t surprise me that I’m like this – I never really had any reaction to all the hormonal drugs I took when cycling either.
Of course I know all these symptoms could be related to the hormonal support drugs I still take ...
Did I mention I’m still seeing the kinesiologist? I know I haven't, but the thing is, I’ve done abit of an about turn on that, I still don’t really understand it, but I’m finding it a great help. I’m hesitant to write it up (superstitious), but if all goes well with the scan next week I might ...