IF and the City

I used to feel sad when I watched the episodes with Charlotte failing over and over again while trying to get pregnant. Little did I know that my own attempts would lead me on the same sad journey. We've now passed 4 years in the trenches. 6 failed IVF/ICSI cycles = nothing. Time for something new - donor eggs. Success at last. Now for round 2.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


Four sleeps to get through until scan.

In the meantime, I’ve had a face to face drive-by at work to help keep me distracted.

‘Oh Sparkle I’m pregnant with my second, I’m past 12 weeks now so I can tell everyone’
‘Congratulations, how lovely for you’
‘Well, we figured we should just do it, our first is going to be three by the time the baby is born.’

Hmmm, here’s the stuff that was running around my head:

Will I make 12 weeks?
How would I tell people?
If I hadn’t miscarried, my first would have been 3 too.

It’s kind of on a loop going round.

I have a suspicion there’s another one close by, another preggy at work, I’m too scared to have it confirmed just yet ... at least not until after Monday. God my senses are still so finely tuned to this, I always seem to want time to get my head straight, so I can act normal.

I don't know why I think I can keep myself at arms length from everything, it’s a fools game.

My chiropractor told me she had a couple of lovely maternity dresses she’d bring in for me ... dresses she hadn’t been able to wear herself.

‘Don’t give me anything yet!’ I said ... politely [but panicked] –
She gets it, she’s been trying to have her second baby for 4 years and has been through several miscarriages.
‘I know, not yet’. She said.

Not yet anything.


At January 18, 2007 12:51 pm , Blogger Kris said...

The dreaded drive-by...

Hope the next few days don't drag on too endlessly. After the actual infertility, waiting is the worst.

At January 18, 2007 1:15 pm , Blogger Margo said...

I hope that the next few days go by really quickly for you, and that your scan only brings happiness.

At January 18, 2007 7:14 pm , Blogger Thalia said...

The waiting is SOOO tough, isn't it. Not long to go, and we are all here, waiting with you.

At January 19, 2007 6:39 am , Blogger Lut said...

Ooh, the endless confidence of the fertile! I can't stand it.

I'm watching one of those get rounder at work. Had her second when we were TTC 1 year. Is now PG with her 3d. Fabulous!

At January 19, 2007 11:07 am , Blogger Summer said...

I hope these next few days go by fast for you and you don't have to hear any more of other people's "good news" for awhile.

At January 19, 2007 11:31 am , Blogger Carol said...

good luck with your scan!

At January 19, 2007 11:54 am , Blogger KikayC said...

hi sparkle! I know how it is to be cautiously excited. I'm sure, before you know it, it's u/s time. Good luck with it!!!!

At January 19, 2007 2:33 pm , Blogger Mony said...

Just hang on to your Sparkle honey.

At January 19, 2007 3:37 pm , Anonymous seepi said...

Yeah - my office was in one of those freak baby booms where 99% of the women there were pregnant or just back from maternity leave - it was a shocker - until I finally joined the crowd.
But I was pretty private about it. If you aren't showing much you don't actually have to tell everyone at 12 weeks - I waited a fair bit longer.
Best of everything for the scan.

At January 22, 2007 4:12 am , Anonymous Drowned Girl said...

I hope everything goes well at the scan!

At January 22, 2007 11:40 am , Blogger Marie-Baguette said...

I hope time will fly and that you soon post adorable scan pictures. Bonne chance -- Marie


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