Last Day

Tomorrow at 9am I have my blood test. With it being the first day back from the holidays for the clinic, who knows what time I'll hear back.

Am I still hopeful? Yes.

I'm over trying to protect myself - if it's negative I'll be disappointed - fearing that now is not going to help. If that's the way it goes, I'll want to feel bad, or will I want to feel nothing for a day or two?

We all know the deal here - if it's a strong embie - it will have implanted. This embie is the strongest we will have transferred - over 7 cycles.

I've had sore boobs pretty much for the last week - that could mean anything - including the fact that my body is just being responsive to the progesterone pessaries.

Last night I had more tummy rumbling - but today there is still no blood.

My 'brown blood' incident happened last Friday - another time where I thought 'well this is it'.

These pessaries could be SO powerful they are holding back my period. But the fact is, today I don't have it and that's all I know.

I think losing all the rest of the embies in the beginning - in a warped way - was great preparation for a 2WW. News doesn't come much worse than that - so now let's just see what happens.

Star is anxious too, she can't wait to hear.

Unfortunately I'm keeping everyone in suspense - no pissing on anything. I don't want to be trying to convince myself of anything - I want the scientific result.

That's the only thing I'm going to believe at this point. Good or Bad.