New Year

Happy New Year! I like those numbers – a double 0 7.

Two days to go to blood test.

In the last 6 days I have had the following symptoms together and at different times: Sore boobs, keen sense of smell, brown discharge, bloating, tiredness and last night the mother of all – my all-too-familiar pre-period tummy rumble.

That happened sometime after midnight. After a somewhat sober (well a splash of champagne with orange juice) night. We had spent the night with friends and had the ‘perfect view’ of the harbour and fireworks.

Don’t like this feeling, I thought, then took myself to bed.

Alarm went off at 5.30 (we forgot to turn it off), so I did a loo run. Tentative CSI wipe = nothing.

Back to Bed.

But not to Sleep.

Worse rumbling, was it cramping? Who knows, but it was what I get when I get my period.

Shit.

‘Deal with it’ I told myself ‘stop kidding yourself it’s anything else but your body telling you that your period is on the way’.

Somehow after that telling off, I got to sleep. I’ll deal with the blood bath in the morning.

This morning I thought, I’m not doing the wipe, if there’s blood, it can just show itself.

Nothing. So in went another pessary.

Cramping has subsided, but while everyone else has alcohol hangovers, mine is purely ‘pessary’.

Not going near a piss-stick either. As my friend told me, who did one yesterday (she was a week late and wanted to know if she could drink last night) – ‘one fucking line, I’m going to paint the other one on’!