IF and the City

I used to feel sad when I watched the episodes with Charlotte failing over and over again while trying to get pregnant. Little did I know that my own attempts would lead me on the same sad journey. We've now passed 4 years in the trenches. 6 failed IVF/ICSI cycles = nothing. Time for something new - donor eggs. Success at last. Now for round 2.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I've Met Her

You know how you still hold out hope that IVF will work, even when you've hit the single digit percentages? I mean, you reason, it must work for someone or it would simply be a zero.

Well since I've become a mother, I've met someone who validates the stats.

Trying to get pregnant for 18 months without any success. At 43 told to hurry up and do an IVF cycle, since the clinic hadn't gotten anyone pregnant over that age.

One cycle = bfp
Also = 1 blast in the freezer (this clinic, my old clinic, will not freeze unless they think the embryo is going to be viable when thawed)

I stared at her in disbelief.
I mean if there was such a thing as a travelling IF circus - she would be the star attraction right?

'How many cycles did YOU do'? she asked me
'Six' (plus 2 with a donor)
'Wow, I was done with it after one'

Add to that the decision not to do an amnio - 'because the results were irrelevant'. Her baby is without any health issues whatsoever.

I would never have believed it was possible. Now I know different. Jeez it's difficult not to feel hard done by, when you started and finished younger and got no success at all. Nothing. Never even to freeze.

I'm not even sure a story like this serves as hope - it's just too damn unbelievable to me. It's nice to actually meet someone almost to prove the validity of the stat table, because I have to say I wouldn't have believed it possible.

I'll have to suspend my disbelief, because I think in the not-too-distant future she is planning on doing an FET with that blast.

Friday, October 10, 2008

My Visit

To the OFG went very well.

A cheerful greeting and catch up followed. BabyG was very well looked after by her assistant.

While I was waiting a man who clearly had many problems (both physical and mental), had just finished his treatment. As he was paying and talking to the OFG assitant I noticed he was only paying a third of the usual fee. Ahh I thought, the OFG does a reduced rate for those in serious need of help.

OFG is a chiro*practor and osteo*path as well as a kinesi*ologist.

After some tapping and counting on my raised left arm, OFG pronouced that 'yes I'm getting that you will have another baby'.

'Lord don't toy with me' I thought.

'Well actually, you always said that I'd have more than one before' I remembered.

More tapping all over, tongue to the roof of my mouth, then to the back of my mouth, then touched by my finger. Ears, head, back swished. Raising and lowering of legs. Roll over. Speck of blood taken from my hand. Hey, now I remember all of this.

My hormones were out (err yeah, and I've got a headache to prove it), my pelvis was out (interesting).

'Yeah well, my transfer has been cancelled' I told her 'I'm not worried about it, because I don't feel ready right now'.
'No, you're not ready at the moment'.

She then went on to tell me that I'd come at a good time, because in a couple of weeks she's off to Hawaii for a conference with updated training in cranial *sacral*therapy, think that's what it was called. So that's what it is.

So now I'm going back again next week for more.

I like the OFG, I like that she believes in me. I like that she looks after the very needy. I've done alot of different things in my pursuit of parenthood. At least she's not charging me hundreds of dollars each week and making me drink putrid tea.

Wednesday, October 08, 2008

Of Course

The apparent ease with which we could go straight to an FET has hit a wee speed bump.

'Parently all qualified members of staff capable of doing a transfer on our required dates will be at a mandatory conference. Supposedly this will be the same throughout all clinics in Oz. It's an accreditation thing. Tho I'm sure the really big places will have so many other people, they will be able to run things with a skeleton staff.

Sooo, as from today I'm back on the bcp for the next 21 days then have to start the syna*rel (bleuch!) Call the clinic on my next day 1.

I'm not so worried about this, but being a Plan B. kind of a gal, I'd already calculated that if this transfer doesn't work, we'd be able to get straight onto another one before Xmas. Now that we're qualified for full rebates. Though at this point I haven't sat down with the calendar.

On the positive side, a delay gives me a little more time to get prepared.

I've decided, with some nostalgia, to go back and consult with the therapy known as 'modern day magic' or my 'other fertility goddess', aka the kinesiologist I went to last time.

The bags of money I donated to the original chinese fertility goddess, never really got me any kind of result - except for learning that I quite like acupuncture.

I continued to see the OFG all the way thru my (extremely healthy) pregnancy, and only really stopped once BabyG was born.

If nothing else, I suspect she's a pretty intuitive kind of lady, and being a little that way inclined myself, I think we're a pretty good fit. Other than that I really have no clue how this stuff works.

With a few extra weeks up my sleeve, I can get in some extra sessions and really get rid of all that icky bacteria I'm bound to be breeding unknowingly.

First appointment tomorrow.

Friday, October 03, 2008

As Expected


Feeling okay. Was expecting it. Held out on the pee sticks, just had that feeling. Am disappointed, but picking myself up pretty quickly.

Moving straight to a frozen transfer. Stopping all meds and waiting for bleed. Once that comes call the clinic and 5 days later start back on progy*nova again.

Not sure what happens after that.

Star was shocked, she just expected that it would work. 'Sometimes there's just no reason' I told her. All the circumstances were right, the little embryo just didn't develop.

Thank god we have the frosties.

At least I can have a drink tonight.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

Day Before

My Potential Blood test.

Haven't done a urine test yet, not sure why, I think its because I never really did them in the past. I have a few little superstitions and rituals I stick to.

Other than that, I really don't know where I am.

The pessaries cause so much confusion with the side-effects. I wake up every morning feeling like I have a hangover, I'm exhausted, I feel like I have a cold. None of these things are actually pregnancy-type symptoms that I've ever heard of.

So I'm not feeling that confident. Yeah, thats a way of saying it, without actually saying what I really think.


I think when I do my blood test, I might just ask about the next steps with a frozen transfer. I've never done one before so its completely new territory. That way, I already have my Plan B. in place, and then I'll feel okay.

One thing I've achieved in my 2WW - I'm finally licensed to drive! Big deal I know, but I put it off so long I had to do it the hard way - 120 hours logged driving before I could sit.

Okay, till tomorrow.