IF and the City

I used to feel sad when I watched the episodes with Charlotte failing over and over again while trying to get pregnant. Little did I know that my own attempts would lead me on the same sad journey. We've now passed 4 years in the trenches. 6 failed IVF/ICSI cycles = nothing. Time for something new - donor eggs. Success at last. Now for round 2.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Moving slowly forward

What I would love to know is, when will I really feel like we have a donor?

After a hundred or more phone calls, I now have a few things worked out.

Next Tuesday Mr. S and I go for our counselling session. Following that, next Thursday Star will come to Sydney and her and I will go for our ‘matching’ ultrasounds, then she will have her blood tests. Then we’ll have lunch.

Star and Mr. S have to book in for their counselling. Finally it has been worked out they can see a fertility counsellor in their own state. At this stage it looks like we won’t have to do a joint session.

Mr. Star has to have his blood tests ... The Heps, HIV and Chlymidia. Apparently he’s okay with this thank god.

Do I have a donor yet? Because it still feels like everything could fall over and we’ll be back at square one.

This maybe just me, but the truth is I really don’t think I’ll feel like I’m on solid ground with this until we’ve got a fertilisation report following the EPU.

Not that I can imagine this happening to us, but what I’ve recently learned is that legally, until actual fertilisation, a donor can pull out. Specifically, in the hours following an EPU, PRIOR to fertilisation if she decides she doesn’t want to go ahead, then the eggs remain her property.

Interesting isn’t it? Forget the legaleese, this is bloody interesting thing to contemplate from a donor’s perspective. Imagine going all the way thru a cycle and getting to the point of having all your eggs collected then changing your mind. Might make a note to find out what type of anaesthetic they’re going to use on Star ... half joking.

But right now, I’m all about the emotional side of this. I’m scared that the enthusiasm will wane, and what had seemed like an awesome altruistic trip becomes a boring reality. I mean I’m selling Star short, she’s a very intelligent person who had thought this thru long before approaching me. But in my world, having random good luck often means that there is a hideous random bad luck coming to slap me in the face.

Having random good luck at all has been in short supply these past four or five years, so having this happen seems so out of this world, it’s hard to accept it’s going to happen.

The bonus to that is that all the stuffing around I’ve had to do on the phone for the past few weeks has just seemed par for the course for me. Nowadays I don’t expect anything to be easy, making 10 phone calls to find out one simple thing – no worries I’m used to it. My notorious impatience has been improved beyond recognition thanks to IF.

My mother is also to blame. One of her favourite things to say over the years has been ‘There’s a price to pay for everything’. Well sh** I keep wondering if all this works out, what price am I going to have to pay?

Oh, and I have another question, when we get as far as cycling, do I qualify for Cyclesista?

7 Comments:

At October 13, 2006 1:01 am , Blogger Heather said...

I think you have already paid enough - IF and all the crap you have been through is a lot of payments!

I'm really excited!

 
At October 13, 2006 4:15 am , Anonymous Lori said...

Very interesting that the donor has until fertilization to withdraw. I can see why you are feeling like things could fall over.
As for the price to pay if it all works out - I think you've more than paid the price. I will be hoping for the best.

 
At October 13, 2006 10:00 am , Blogger Kris said...

Hell yeah, you qualify for cyclesista- you'll be anxiously awaiting plenty.

Good luck with all this. I'm hoping for continued good luck for you.

 
At October 13, 2006 11:39 am , Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I so hope that this all comes together for all of you. You so deserve it after all that you have been through.

Hang in there.

 
At October 14, 2006 1:29 am , Blogger Millie said...

When I was cycling with my own eggs, I'd totally stress over my response, my numbers, etc.

When I did my first donor cycle it became all about her. Because I couldn't control it (not that I could control myself but you know what I mean). I think it's totally normal to have these thoughts. And donor cycles are soooo surreal because you really are much less involved.

If it helps at all, when I WAS a donor the thought to back out never crossed my mind. It just wasn't even a thought I entertained at all. Everybody made sure I knew it but that would have never happened. And Star sounds like she's way more committed than even I was.

As for the price to pay, it's been paid. You have a balance due, and this is how you're getting it back.

 
At October 15, 2006 10:48 am , Blogger Angie said...

I hope things work out for you!

 
At October 16, 2006 9:18 pm , Blogger N said...

Yes Yes Yes, of COURSE you qualify to be a cyclesista, as Kris says, you will be anxiously awaited!!!

And I also do agree with what the other say - you do have paid the prize already. Infertility is hard freaking crap and the price we all pay is too high!!!!

hugs!

N

 

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