Brand New Rollercoaster

This morning’s meeting with Specialist Donor Doc (SDD), started rather like being told off by the scary school teacher.

Mr. S and I sat there quietly while we were told about all the logistical difficulties involved with an interstate donor cycle, all the things that can go wrong, plus all the requirements and necessities.

‘Sooo, would you rather not help us with this donor cycle?’ I eventually asked?
‘Yes, I am more than happy to help, I mean we coordinate for overseas donor cycles, I just want you to be aware of everything. People get over-excited and don’t think about everything involved and what can go wrong’.
‘Yes, we understand’ Mr. S. said.
‘No, you don’t’ he replied
‘Well then we appreciate everything?’ he ventured
‘Yes’

He was happy to settle for ‘appreciate’.

So after taking some preliminary notes, and advising me I’d need another ultrasound (!!!) he asked his wife to come in. She will coordinate the cycle.

We may or may not need our donor (now known as Star) and partner (Mr. Star) to come to Sydney for their counselling. That’s being checked out, we’ll know on Thursday.

Star will definitely need to come to Sydney for preliminary bloods and an ultrasound at the beginning of her next cycle.

Then she will start her cycle and come back for the week prior to the EPU.

Prior to the appointment I’d spoken to Star about her cycle and other details. Giggling. I mentioned that it wasn’t weird for me these days to ask such questions, but maybe strange for her. Today I was able to tell SDD what day she was up to in her cycle.

We’re really hoping their counselling can be done interstate, otherwise that’ll mean both Star and Mr. Star will have to come here together. Not really an issue, just a disruption for them.

Star and I will have our ultrasounds done at the same time/day, then she’ll have her bloods. In turns out that Mr. Star won’t need bloods done, unless something shows up in hers.

In the meantime Mr. S and I can have our counselling done.

We’re going to talk through all this stuff with them tonight.

When we were walking back to the car I explained to Mr. S how initially I wasn’t sure SDD was keen to help us.

‘Well he’s extremely experienced and takes the responsibility very seriously – I find it reassuring’ he said.

‘Also now it’s up to us to make sure we don’t start sugar-coating everything for Star – so she has all the right information and knows why things are being done the way they are. That way she’ll know what to expect at all the points along the way.’

While all this is going on, I get scared everyday that it's going to fall through, something is going to go wrong. Everytime I speak to Star either on Messenger or phone she's really excited, can't wait to start, is so excited at the thought that I will get pregnant. In between, sometimes I just think it's not going to happen. F*** I just don't have any faith that something could work out for me, it's horrible.

We’re back on the rollercoaster, but it’s a different one with bigger and trickier loop-de-loops.