IF and the City

I used to feel sad when I watched the episodes with Charlotte failing over and over again while trying to get pregnant. Little did I know that my own attempts would lead me on the same sad journey. We've now passed 4 years in the trenches. 6 failed IVF/ICSI cycles = nothing. Time for something new - donor eggs. Success at last. Now for round 2.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Brand New Rollercoaster

This morning’s meeting with Specialist Donor Doc (SDD), started rather like being told off by the scary school teacher.

Mr. S and I sat there quietly while we were told about all the logistical difficulties involved with an interstate donor cycle, all the things that can go wrong, plus all the requirements and necessities.

‘Sooo, would you rather not help us with this donor cycle?’ I eventually asked?
‘Yes, I am more than happy to help, I mean we coordinate for overseas donor cycles, I just want you to be aware of everything. People get over-excited and don’t think about everything involved and what can go wrong’.
‘Yes, we understand’ Mr. S. said.
‘No, you don’t’ he replied
‘Well then we appreciate everything?’ he ventured

He was happy to settle for ‘appreciate’.

So after taking some preliminary notes, and advising me I’d need another ultrasound (!!!) he asked his wife to come in. She will coordinate the cycle.

We may or may not need our donor (now known as Star) and partner (Mr. Star) to come to Sydney for their counselling. That’s being checked out, we’ll know on Thursday.

Star will definitely need to come to Sydney for preliminary bloods and an ultrasound at the beginning of her next cycle.

Then she will start her cycle and come back for the week prior to the EPU.

Prior to the appointment I’d spoken to Star about her cycle and other details. Giggling. I mentioned that it wasn’t weird for me these days to ask such questions, but maybe strange for her. Today I was able to tell SDD what day she was up to in her cycle.

We’re really hoping their counselling can be done interstate, otherwise that’ll mean both Star and Mr. Star will have to come here together. Not really an issue, just a disruption for them.

Star and I will have our ultrasounds done at the same time/day, then she’ll have her bloods. In turns out that Mr. Star won’t need bloods done, unless something shows up in hers.

In the meantime Mr. S and I can have our counselling done.

We’re going to talk through all this stuff with them tonight.

When we were walking back to the car I explained to Mr. S how initially I wasn’t sure SDD was keen to help us.

‘Well he’s extremely experienced and takes the responsibility very seriously – I find it reassuring’ he said.

‘Also now it’s up to us to make sure we don’t start sugar-coating everything for Star – so she has all the right information and knows why things are being done the way they are. That way she’ll know what to expect at all the points along the way.’

While all this is going on, I get scared everyday that it's going to fall through, something is going to go wrong. Everytime I speak to Star either on Messenger or phone she's really excited, can't wait to start, is so excited at the thought that I will get pregnant. In between, sometimes I just think it's not going to happen. F*** I just don't have any faith that something could work out for me, it's horrible.

We’re back on the rollercoaster, but it’s a different one with bigger and trickier loop-de-loops.


At October 03, 2006 5:19 pm , Blogger Lut C. said...

What? A doctor that tones down your expectations? Shouldn't he be promising you the moon?
Though it's a bit of a downer, I tend to agree with Mr. Sparkle that it's more reassuring than an overly optimistic doctor. He knows what bases to cover.

My first doctor was way too optimistic for my taste. The second dr. is between neutral and cautiously optimistic, just right.

After all you've been through, it's natural that you would expect the worst. But you're doing this because it could work for you. Good luck!

At October 04, 2006 4:12 am , Blogger Thalia said...

I had a similar issue with our doc, who kept telling us we could go to another clinic. I had to ask him if he was firign us as patients. He insisted he just wanted us to know our options.

Glad to hear it's all happening.

At October 04, 2006 5:26 am , Blogger Kris said...

Yup, that sounds like a nail-biting rollercoaster. But, probably like all rollercoasters, the anticipation and fear we build up in our head while we are waiting in line is much worse than the ride. And remember, the good thing about rollercoasters is you are permitted to scream all you want. Good luck.

At October 04, 2006 7:43 am , Blogger DEMummy said...

Hold on for the ride of your life!! I have 13 month old twins from a successful Donor Egg cycle. I have often wished we could have met her just once.... We called her "Kelly" and both our children have red hair!
Good luck to you.

At October 04, 2006 9:54 am , Blogger Millie said...

Yay!! It sounds like it's all going as it's supposed to. I know it's hard to believe it might work but it really is a whole new ride. I hope it's a good one. We'll all be cheering you on from below (or above as the case may be ;)).

At October 04, 2006 11:20 am , Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

How exciting that this donor cycle is all coming together. It is good that your doctor is so realistic and so thorough. I have my fingers crossed for this cycle Sparkle.

At October 04, 2006 7:34 pm , Anonymous Meri-ann said...

I'm so glad you're back in the saddle!!


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