IF and the City

I used to feel sad when I watched the episodes with Charlotte failing over and over again while trying to get pregnant. Little did I know that my own attempts would lead me on the same sad journey. We've now passed 4 years in the trenches. 6 failed IVF/ICSI cycles = nothing. Time for something new - donor eggs. Success at last. Now for round 2.

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Same Strangeness

Things continue pretty as they have since my last post.

That is to say, it feels like I’m living in a kind of twilight zone.

It’s very difficult to make plans – say for a week out – when you think – well this time next week we might need to be on a plane to get to my dad’s funeral.

Daily updates are starting to feel ghoulish. My poor father, daily updates, horrible to imagine that life comes to this, but when it does, this upturned world is what passes for normal. Talking about it so candidly also becomes normal in everyday conversation. Normal for me, not sure sometimes how that feels for others.

Hard to believe doctors can be so inaccurate with their blunt assessments. We’re nearly 7 weeks since our 7-10 day countdown. There is no chance of a remission. Well I guess there are, depending on your take on miracles.

But I guess in my own upside down world, I’ve had plenty of those blunt assessments too.

I’m 28 weeks pregnant, and if I’m to believe what I’m told, it suits me.

Certainly I never expected to feel this good.

I continue to see the kinesiologist, she’s got me taking a great supplement, I can only guess that this is why I’m full of energy. At my recent appointment, she announced that she couldn’t be happier ‘you’re in great shape’. All possible parasites, bacteria’s, viruses absent, all baby’s needs are being met, my overall health is fantastic.

Alot to take in really.

The journey to get here, sometimes questioning if I was wrong to be so determined.

All I think now is – intuition – trust it.

4 Comments:

At June 19, 2007 11:37 pm , Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I am so glad that you are feeling well.

 
At June 20, 2007 12:38 am , Blogger Heather said...

Glad you are doing well.

I've been thinking about you a lot.

 
At June 28, 2007 9:33 pm , Anonymous ovagirl said...

Sparkle...it's a been long time but tonight I found your blog again. I am so thrilled about your pregnancy, it's the most wonderful news but I am so sorry about your father. Thinking of you, hang in there.

xx

 
At June 30, 2007 9:00 pm , Blogger Lut C. said...

It does sound like you've fallen down the rabbit hole. It must be hard to stretch yourselves between joy and grief all at the same time. The feeling of being out of control is an old acquaintance I suppose.

I'm glad that your pregnancy is going smoothly and you're feeling well.
Do you feel the little one kicking? Have you started making any preparations?

 

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