IF and the City

I used to feel sad when I watched the episodes with Charlotte failing over and over again while trying to get pregnant. Little did I know that my own attempts would lead me on the same sad journey. We've now passed 4 years in the trenches. 6 failed IVF/ICSI cycles = nothing. Time for something new - donor eggs. Success at last. Now for round 2.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Strange Time

When you're told someone in your family has 7-10 days to live, time takes on a new meaning. Everything quickly speeds up, fear and panic join together, and plans are quickly made. As the time ticks by, the tension mounts.

When that time has passed, everything slows down again.

It's now been more than 26 days since we were given the initial estimate of time.

It's an interesting sort of emotion - annoyed - but with the doctor - not with the person that has out-lived expectations.

What happens in the meantime is that your own life has essentially been on hold, and suddenly you've got to rejoin it.

The doctor says that her initial estimate was based on the rapid decline she had seen in the past month, now she says that decline has slowed down. Now ... she says that this could go on for weeks.

So I have returned home and back to work. Daily calls cover things like - how the night went and is there any change.

One of my friends asked if it was hard to talk about?

'No, when a nightmare scenario becomes your reality, you just seem to adapt'.

Strange, it feels like I've been here before.

Meanwhile, I'm now 25 weeks pregnant. I'm finally starting to look like I may be pregnant (in fact I was asked when I was due by a stranger for the first time last week). At my next appointment with my Ob (Thursday), I will be doing the glucose test to check for Gestational Diabetes.


At May 28, 2007 6:17 pm , Blogger Thalia said...

Sorry you've been having such a tough time. Hoping that you've been able to make the most of the extra time, although I imagine it's also been very stressful. Thinking of you.

At May 29, 2007 3:51 am , Blogger Lut C. said...

Gosh, I really don't know what to add to Thalia's comment.

How surreal to be going back to routine, even though things really don't fit with that routine.

Thanks for the update on your PG. Good luck with the next appointment.

At May 30, 2007 2:36 am , Blogger Mary Ellen and Steve said...

I am sorry that everything is so hard right now. I am glad that all is well with the pregnancy. Thinking of you. xx

At May 31, 2007 10:01 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi Sparkles
I wanted to write to you personally but lost your email address..how annoying! I also went through the loss of my Darling Dad during my pregnancy and one thing I know for sure is that the stress is more than you realise. Please make sure your Dr does a urine test everytime you get a checkup and your blood pressure of course. Don't think you're being overcautious..take every extra chance to get checked on and rest etc etc. My commiserations and prayers are with you, your Dad and family at this time. Best wishes Justice/Marcia


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