IF and the City

I used to feel sad when I watched the episodes with Charlotte failing over and over again while trying to get pregnant. Little did I know that my own attempts would lead me on the same sad journey. We've now passed 4 years in the trenches. 6 failed IVF/ICSI cycles = nothing. Time for something new - donor eggs. Success at last. Now for round 2.

Thursday, November 09, 2006

Another Day, Another Lie

It’s one thing to be good at lying; it’s quite another thing to have to be.

This morning I invented a chiropractic appointment, because I was having a late start, meanwhile I’m seeing my SDD and getting the low-down on our cycle with Star.

‘Let’s get there early, maybe we can push in’ I say to Mr. S.

Half an hour later.

‘Just let me know when you’re ready to go’ I shout upstairs at the brick wall on the computer.

‘Hi, SDD’s ready for you’ the Glamour Nurse says to me as I walk in the door.

‘Okay, Mr. S is just putting money in the meter’.

As Glamour and I walk into the office, she’s asking me what day I’m on, while I’m trying to save a message on my mobile from my boss.

‘Put everything down, and let’s start going over the forms’ SDD advises. ‘Don’t worry about what day’.


Mr. S. arrives and we speed through all the forms – privacy, permissions for research, hand over permission to each other to decide what to do with spare embryos in case of death (yikes!), and all the rest.

‘Any questions’?

‘Umm, so when you say you’ll only transfer one embryo, is that because of the risks with a multiple pregnancy?’

‘At Star’s age [have I mentioned her age = under 27?] the chances of twins is extremely high, and the knock-on to your health, the risks of premmie etc. we won’t do it, in fact, unless your donor was late thirties, regulations are going to be introduced for single embryo transfer’.

Me: ‘So in the event a fresh transfer doesn’t work and we were doing an FET – would that still be a single embryo transfer, I mean, we’ve spent the last 4 years on the wrong side of the odds?’

SDD ‘Yes, the chances of pregnancy are equal with a single embryo as with two, at your donors age, your chances of success are 56%’.

Me: ‘Okay, are we aiming for a certain number of eggs? I mean when I cycled, I was getting, 7, 10, 12 and 8 before everything went pear-shaped?’

SDD ‘For you this is a numbers game, for me, I am a doctor to three separate patients and my first responsibility is going to be for Star’s health, her ovarian performance is secondary’.

Okay, questions answered.

I am to start sniffing next Wednesday, and have been given a prescription to get filled for Prog*ynova.

‘Also, when you are successful, you will need a further prescription’. SDD informs us. He added that he would look after us until 8 weeks then refer us (if we wished) to an Ob.

At the front desk there was another flurry of forms being signed, duplicated and faxed.

Also, Glamour informed us the coordinator nurse at the clinic requires us to go over for an orientation and to pay our bill,

‘Keh? Don’t we pay once Star starts stimming’?
‘No, since she has started sniffing, they want payment very soon.’
‘No worries, do they take Am*Ex?’.

As Mr. S. and I check and double check we have all our cards, receipts and forms we head off to get to work.

As we were driving I say

‘It’s always seemed too weird to talk about what we would do when we needed an Ob; it seems strange to even think about that’.
‘Well what does everyone else do?’ he asks
‘Most of our friends, who got pregnant for free, just book in at the Birthing Centre and then have their babies there for free as well (with midwives). I could ask if they had Ob’s, but I couldn’t bear to have that conversation with anyone’.
‘No, I hate talking about all that shit’

Yeah, I’ve hated having to listen to all that shit for the last four years, let’s just wait till we need to know.


At November 09, 2006 11:00 pm , Blogger Lut said...

I'm having a mandatory single embryo transfer (if we make it that far) because it's the first try and I'm under 35.

Studies have shown that over all, the success rate hasn't gone down significantly since introducing this policy, but the twin rate has.
The number of FETs has gone up as well, of course.

Knowing facts like this doesn't weigh much against feelings of impending doom, not for me at least, but it helps a little.

At November 10, 2006 4:40 am , Blogger Jade said...

This is starting to get very real. I am suprised about the single transfer. In the States it is usually 2-3 transfered. And yes there has been an explosion of multiples!!!

Frankly, if I am doing DE (which is starting to look like a distinct possibility) twins doesn't sound so bad. Instant family and no more TTC...

How are you handling the privacy questions? who have you decided to tell?

At November 10, 2006 7:28 am , Blogger Millie said...

You are getting so close!

I think for fresh single embryo is probably as good but if you need frozen (and let's hope not), I'd push for at least 2, maybe 3. FETs always have such lower rates.

Does this clinic like to do 3 day or blast transfers? Just wondering.

Here's to needing to find one of those normal obs in the very near future.

At November 10, 2006 2:58 pm , Blogger Kris said...

Wow. You know it's really starting when they start wanting money. How exciting!

At November 10, 2006 10:03 pm , Blogger helen_smith said...

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