IF and the City

I used to feel sad when I watched the episodes with Charlotte failing over and over again while trying to get pregnant. Little did I know that my own attempts would lead me on the same sad journey. We've now passed 4 years in the trenches. 6 failed IVF/ICSI cycles = nothing. Time for something new - donor eggs. Success at last. Now for round 2.

Monday, November 06, 2006

Don't Tell Me ...

Some drive-bys are definitely worse than others.

Sometimes my [written] foul mouth gets the better of me.

A couple of months ago we had dinner with a 'friends sister' and her husband who were about to embark on their first IVF cycle.

Same doctor, same clinic as us.

Nearly the same age as me.

Except, unfortunately, I’m a veteran of 6 failed IVF/ICSI cycles, going back to August 2004.

We walked away from the dinner wishing them the best, giving all the tips we could think of ... call me anytime if you need support. I'd been concerned at how slow they had been to move to IVF - we'd moved fast as soon as we knew we had to.

But we said to ourselves on the way home ‘not sure I have much hope for them, we may need to talk to them about donor eggs down the track’. I mean, I was more than a couple of years younger when we first started.

Last week our same friend rang to see if we were free for dinner in a few weeks time, and we asked after his sister.

Very early days pregnant, don’t tell anyone.


Am I hearing right – success with first IVF cycle, AT THE AGE OF 40????

I’m very happy for them.


Same doctor, same clinic (but I cycled more than two years younger).

Meanwhile ... and very importantly, who’s going to the dinner? I quiz Mr. S.

‘Don’t know, you know Prickly, he never tells you who else he’s invited and it’s rude to ask’.

‘But ALL my friends tell us who they’re inviting – before confirming the go ahead!’

‘Well Prickly doesn’t, it’s always pot luck with him’

Well shit, now it sounds like I’ve got every chance of being stuck in a room full of pregnant woman – between his sister and everyone else with their third on the way!

How could it be possible that I could be going to a dinner party full of pregnant women all congratulating the IVF success story ... and it's sure as hell not ours?!

Coffee after dinner? Yes please hold the sugar, I want it strong, black and bitter!


At November 06, 2006 1:18 pm , Blogger NCD said...

I can totally sympathize. I sent our friends to fertility, because they had been trying for as long as we had and never considered that there might be a problem. Well they now have a 3wk old and we are still trying.

At November 07, 2006 12:47 am , Blogger Chelsi said...

I hear ya, Sparkle. I have sent two separate friends to my IF doctor - both have children now that are toddler age!! I'm happy for them, but it cuts like a knife as well.

As far as the dinner thing, I would definetly find out whose on the guest list. That last thing you need is to be stuck among a table of swelly bellies!!

At November 07, 2006 2:29 am , Blogger Heather said...

OMG, that sucks royally. I'm so sorry. I wish you the best. I don't think I could handle that dinner.

I always have to know who else is going to be there. I hate surprises. You are a better woman than I.

At November 07, 2006 10:04 am , Blogger Lut said...

OUCH! That stings!

Do you HAVE to go to the dinner?

At November 07, 2006 1:47 pm , Blogger Kris said...

Shit. It's always such a slap in the face. I've counselled many people on the ins and outs of infertility and nearly all of them have kids. Good for them. Sucky for me.

I'd want the guest list, too, before committing.


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