IF and the City

I used to feel sad when I watched the episodes with Charlotte failing over and over again while trying to get pregnant. Little did I know that my own attempts would lead me on the same sad journey. We've now passed 4 years in the trenches. 6 failed IVF/ICSI cycles = nothing. Time for something new - donor eggs. Success at last. Now for round 2.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

The Last Cycle

Results just okay: FSH 11
Oestrogen 200

The nurse said that because the Oestrogen was low it was okay to cycle.
This is a whole new thing for me - now I'm in the high FSH category - never had an FSH higher than 8 before!

300ml Puregon per day, started Saturday. Next blood test Monday morning, further instructions to follow. This cycle is going to be over so fast it's freaky.

I cautiously asked the nurse if they had had many positive results with the Flare Cycle protocol ... she said they had, but didn't have figures on hand. I say cautiously, because this seems to be the protocol that's tried on the hopeless cases ... we've reached the end of the road.

I ducked into the new CFG on my way home from the hairdressers to let her know that I was going ahead with the IVF and wouldn't be starting with her herbs. Her assistant was there and I asked if I would be able to get acupuncture (even though they disapprove of my choice). The assistant was sure that they would be able to help and I'm booked in for Monday. I explained to him that even though I agreed that I most likely could benefit from six months worth of treatment, that Mr. S and I were not prepared to make a snap decision not to go ahead at this point.

We feel that we have nothing to lose with going ahead with this cycle, and if it fails we're moving on with other things.

One of those things is that we are now actively looking for a local donor. We have an ad. published on two forums. So far very minimum bites, but let's see. This is another of the things we don't want to regret not doing. One thing I haven't done is link my blog to the ad. Any thoughts? I'm in a bit of a dither over what to do. On the one hand it's a great way for a potential donor to read up on us and some of what we've been through, on the other hand it's potentially the fastest way of putting everyone off in one foul swoop. Admitting some insecurity here, but this blog has been a great sounding board for me to rail about some pretty petty things. While I think those going through similar can sympathise because they've experienced some of the same things, maybe to 'normal' fertile folk it could seem remarkably bitter.

What to do, should I mention it or just casually add the url to my profile and see if anyone wanders over?

We're bringing the donor issue with our friends to a conclusion. But that hasn't happened yet. Mr. S wanted 'one more week' since we've been away. But that deadline is up. So in the next few days we'll be making contact and hopefully we'll smooth everything over and we'll all still be friends. Will update that soonish.

Blood results tomorrow.


At July 30, 2006 9:03 pm , Anonymous Meri-ann said...

So glad you've got your cycle underway, I have to say that the flare cycle protocol has been the only one that ever worked for me. On a down reg cycle I responded absolutely crap, on flare cycle I responded a lot better (but not fabulous), actually got pregnant twice. So don't think you're a hopeless case!
As for linking your blog, I think it's a great idea. You never know who might wander over. You're honest and sincere, and I'm sure any potential donors would immediately relate to you. Good luck!

At July 31, 2006 3:07 am , Blogger Millie said...

Yay for a cycle that's underway. I hope the flare does just the trick.

As for linking your blog to the ad, I don't think I'd do that. I've knows folks to have a separate blog with information just for donors. For me, I like having my blog be a space where I don't have to worry about what I say or how it sounds. It's just for me. That's why I don't tell my family (or most of my friends) about it. I don't ever want to have to censor myself or worry about what people might think.

At July 31, 2006 6:20 am , Blogger Lut C. said...

I can't give you advice on any of this, so I won't attempt to.

I think what Millie said about posting your blog makes sense.

I hope you can work things out with your friends. It's sad they haven't come through and it must be akward for all involved.

At July 31, 2006 10:13 am , Blogger Sparkle said...

Hi Millie,

You've highlighted exactly my concerns with linking my blog. I use my blog the same way as you and no one knows about it - for the same reasons as you. I'm also totally honest here, so the everyday 'pr' we do to get around our lives is non existent.

A whole blog just for donor is interesting, but maybe I'd feel a little dishonest? Not sure - worlds colliding is a tricky one.

At July 31, 2006 5:36 pm , Blogger Thalia said...

I'm with millie, I wouldn't give this address to potential donors. Don't make it a place you have to censor what you say.

Sorry I missed your return from holiday, I'm glad it was good but sorry you had to suffer our heatwave!

I hope the flare protocol is the trick for you.

At July 31, 2006 10:02 pm , Blogger Pamplemousse said...

I would keep your blog under wraps too. There have been times where I have been paranoid about my donors finding my blog and I am very careful to keep the salient details unclear.

Sounds like this cycle is going smoothly so far. I think that is the beauty of the flare cycle, no long-drawn out suppression first.


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