IF and the City

I used to feel sad when I watched the episodes with Charlotte failing over and over again while trying to get pregnant. Little did I know that my own attempts would lead me on the same sad journey. We've now passed 4 years in the trenches. 6 failed IVF/ICSI cycles = nothing. Time for something new - donor eggs. Success at last. Now for round 2.

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Post Christmas Stress Syndrome

Phew glad Christmas is over, and things can go back to normal.

I mean D and I spent Christmas Day with his parents, so we didn’t have the pain and misery of being with my family and everyone fawning over my nieces and nephew.

We did have D’s father discussing D’s visit to Dr. Famous Urologist with us at our Christmas Eve dinner and that made me uncomfortable enough for the next few days. You see D’s father is a doctor and when D needed a referral, rather than just go to a GP like a regular person, he asked his father to write him one. Now Dr. Famous Urologist decided to phone D’s father and give him an update!

D’s father mentioned it while we were eating our dinner and went on in some detail about how there was nothing physically wrong with D and there was some method of making the imperfect sperm swim away. All I can say is that it’s nothing short of a miracle that I didn’t choke on my prawn.

I mean D’s father is not an expert in fertility – in fact he and D’s mother are still in the dark as to their own infertility.

I spoke to D about this after a couple of days, by which time I’d calmed down. I had to remind him that his father is not our fertility doctor and in fact is not my doctor at all, and actually we have confidential information regarding our fertility that we have never discussed with them for our own reasons – like the fact that we had a MISCARRIAGE! So perhaps he better tell Dr. FU to pull his head in and oblige by patient confidentiality!

Am I wrong or does this seem slightly unethical?

D assures me that it’s the last we’ll hear of him, but the fact is I want it to be the last his father hears of him.

Now today I go to put in our claim for D’s necessary blood test and find out that we are not able to claim one cent in Medicare – do you think this might be information D should have been told since the flaming test cost $220?!

Now I hate the Dr. Famous Urologist.


At January 04, 2006 12:05 pm , Anonymous Lori said...

I'd be steaming about the confidentiality issue as well. Dr. FU should never have discussed anything with D's father. Very inappropriate and unethical.

At January 05, 2006 8:39 am , Blogger Lut C. said...

And here I am, all worried some relative is going to ask my when we'll start trying. Talk about unappropriate dinner conversations.

I do think it's common practice for specialists to keep GP's informed about their patients, at least it is here.
But broadcasting things like this at a family gathering is something completely different.

You can choose your partner and friends, but with family you're stuck.

At January 06, 2006 7:07 am , Blogger MC said...

That seems very out of line for the Dr to discuss it with your FIL. It also is embarrassing to have that as the topic of conversation at dinner. Infertility is much more complex than a few test results.

At January 06, 2006 10:03 am , Blogger Pamplemousse said...

Can you make an official complaint about this doctor about his breach of confidentiality or would this put you in an awkward spot? I understand why you would be so angry.

At January 07, 2006 9:39 am , Anonymous Anonymous said...


I am very sorry to hear the latest cycle didn't work. It is so frustrating. Always in my life my attitude has been if I just try a litle harder I can do anything, if I just give up a bit more it will work. INfertility is the one thing that doesn't work like this - as you know, and it sucks big time! I did four IVF cycles before I became pregnant with my son -he's now nearly four and we've been trying for our second for three years. I think in the end IVF is a numbers game and we just have to decide how much we are going to sacrifice to keep rolling the dice. And there are lots of sacrifices not the least your sanity! At the moment I am doing the acupuncture again, losing weight and taking the vitamins. It is worth it! I hope you keep rolling!

At January 07, 2006 10:35 am , Anonymous seepi said...

I think hubby needs to gt his own dr instead of using his dad.
The specialist was within his rights to inform your father -in-law of the results, as he was the referring dr. I guess since yr hubby went to him to start with, he thought it was a free subject, up for dinner table discussion. For this exact reason my (dr) father knows nothing of our medical issues, even though the warnings that we are getting too old/waiting too long are really hard to take too...
Congratulations for surviving that dinner.

At January 08, 2006 3:15 am , Blogger Thalia said...

Someone else's father did this at one point. Maybe Teresa's? I can't remember. Absolutely out of order.


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