Grey Skies

Clearly a post a day is too much for me, I just couldn’t meet my own challenge. Alot can happen in a couple of days though.

My friend F has had her op. and it seems to have gone well… in a hell-on-earth kind of way. She was told she came extremely close to having a hysterectomy, the fibroid was so big and embedded so deep. She has also been told that it looks like she has endometriosis and that she should have a laparoscopy in a couple of weeks, but right now she’s not interested. She was given an anti-nausea injection that gave her a panic attack, and when she asked about it they said it wouldn’t be that. Next day, the nausea is back and she’s given the injection again and the panic-attack came back (it was stemotil I think). She said the only thing that got her through it was knowing that it had lasted 3 hours the day before. All in all it’s been pretty hideous experience. Oh yeah, and the Gynae ward is so full she’s been parked in Respiratory!

D had a new SA done and unfortunately it doesn’t look as if his morphology has improved. He was told it is 1%, previously it has been 0%. Numbers, motility etc. all good, but morphology is shite, which is how I feel. More than 6 months on CFG’s putrid teas and any improvement is negligible.

The clinic have faxed thru the results to me and the good news seems to be in the count, it has increased 500%, which is great, so why can’t they be fit, healthy and normal forms!

D made an appointment for us to go back next week and see the sperm doctor, he is trialling something called Tahitian noni juice. He said there have been lots of studies done recently on the benefits to women’s fertility and he’s studying the effects on men.

D will get to speak to his new MS-CFG on Thursday, and she will determine his treatment program. She tells me that our story is not unusual, she’s seen lots of couples that are unaware that their ‘unexplained’ infertility is actually a morphology problem and she says that it’s not surprising that ivf/icsi doesn’t work – morphology should be improved prior to going on a cycle.

Funnily enough I find this heartening, our version of this sorry infertility story isn’t unusual. Now all I want is the recipe for fixing it.

So here's D and I, smack bang in the middle of the great debate - all fertility doctors say that ICSI fixes everything, even spaz heads contain all the necessary dna, whereas the complementary therapists (and our sperm doctor) believe the spaz head can damage the dna and result in embryos that don't implant.

We’ve already started the anti-candida diet. D is being very good, he’s not even drinking beer. We’ve switched to soya milk, brown rice, and organic meat. D is now having non-wheat muesli for breakfast – with goats yoghurt. The nutritionist told D that it’s best if we try and do this during the week, and on the weekend go a little easier on ourselves.

D is this minute off to have an ultrasound to rule out varicocele and any other low level infections. Deep breath, let’s see how this goes.

The beautiful early summer weather we were experiencing last week has disappeared and been replaced with grey skies. Also that huge weight I’ve been carrying around just got heavier, so much so I have had excrutiating shoulder pain and a stiff neck for the last 24 hours.

It feels like I’m asking for the earth, but I just want something to be easy for us, I want our hard work to have a result.